Chinese Etiquette for Foreign Travellers: What Matters and What Does Not

Published 2026-10-13 · 71Asia Tours

The short version

Chinese etiquette has a reputation problem. Visitors arrive braced for a minefield of rules and end up worrying about the wrong things. After years of running trips here, I can tell you the everyday reality is gentler than the internet suggests: people are forgiving, especially with foreigners, and nobody is going to scold you for holding chopsticks badly.

What does get noticed is effort. Trying a phrase, waiting for the host to start eating, accepting a cup of tea with both hands. Those small things register. The rest is mostly common sense wearing different clothes.

Greetings and first contact

Handshakes have largely replaced the bow, at least in the big cities. In Beijing and Shanghai a firm, brief handshake is normal, and so is a slight nod of the head. If you bow, keep it shallow.

Names run family name first, so Li Wei is Mr Li. Using a title matters more than using a first name: Mr Li, Ms Wang, or Teacher Chen if they teach. In restaurants and shops, "nihao" and a smile carry you a long way. In Tibet you may hear "tashi delek"; in Hong Kong, Cantonese greetings and English both work fine.

Personal space is narrower than most Westerners are used to. On the metro in Chongqing or Chengdu, strangers will stand closer than would feel polite at home. It is not aggression, just density.

Dining: the rules that actually get noticed

Food is where etiquette matters most, and where most of the genuinely useful rules live.

Chopsticks

• Never stand chopsticks upright in a bowl of rice. It mimics incense at a funeral and is the one chopstick mistake that makes people wince.
• Rest them across your bowl or on the chopstick rest when you pause. Passing food chopstick to chopstick is also a funeral reference; put it on the plate instead.
• Do not stab food with a single chopstick. Spearing a dumpling feels efficient and looks careless.
• Holding them badly is fine. Everyone will pretend not to notice.

Toasting and baijiu

At a shared meal, someone will likely propose a toast. If you drink, raise your glass and touch the rim lower than the other person's rim, a small gesture of respect. If you do not drink, a raised teacup and a cheerful "ganbei" is completely acceptable. Nobody sensible forces alcohol on a guest any more, though you may have to say no twice.

Tea gets refilled constantly. Leaving your cup full when the pot comes round is a quiet way of saying you are done; tapping two fingers on the table is a thank-you that older hosts appreciate.

Who pays

The host pays. Fighting for the bill at a restaurant is theatre, and if you are the guest, letting it happen is the polite move. Offer once, sincerely, then let it go. If you are hosting, pay without announcing it. Splitting the bill is normal among friends and younger colleagues, but it can look odd at a formal meal.

Tipping, haggling and money manners

Tipping is not expected in mainland restaurants, taxis, hotels or on tours. Guides and drivers appreciate it, but nothing goes wrong if you skip it. Hong Kong and Macao are the exception: a 10 percent service charge is often already on the bill, and a small tip is normal.

Haggling is fine in tourist markets and souvenir stalls, less so in shops with printed prices. Smile, offer about two thirds, and be ready to walk away. Aggressive haggling over small sums reads badly. In Hong Kong and Macao prices are generally fixed; in Taipei's night markets they are fixed too.

Gifts: what to bring, what to avoid

If you are invited to someone's home, bring fruit, tea, or something from your own country. Avoid clocks, umbrellas and pears, which carry associations with funerals, separation and parting. White and black wrapping paper have funeral overtones, so pick red or gold. Four is the unlucky number because it sounds like "death"; eight is lucky. Money as a gift goes inside a red envelope.

Temples, mosques and monasteries

Dress modestly, which in practice means covered shoulders and knees. Step over, not on, the raised thresholds at temple doors. Walk clockwise around stupas and prayer wheels in Tibetan areas, and do not touch monks or photograph them without asking. In Lhasa and around the monasteries, a small donation in a box is the norm rather than a ticket price. Keep your voice down and put the phone away.

Face, queues and public space

Losing your temper in public costs everyone their dignity. That is the practical meaning of "face": correct someone quietly, or not at all. It also means a polite no often arrives as "maybe" or "it is a bit difficult", so listen for the soft refusal instead of pushing.

Queues exist but are looser than in Europe, especially at stations and lifts. Stand your ground gently. On escalators people stand on the right and walk on the left, and this is observed more strictly in Shanghai than anywhere else.

Regional differences: Hong Kong, Macao and Taipei, China

Hong Kong and Macao follow a different rhythm. Queues are orderly, tipping is expected in restaurants, and talking loudly on the MTR earns you looks. Macao's Portuguese-influenced cafes are relaxed, but the courtesy is formal.

In Taipei, China, thank-yous come fast and often, night market vendors are patient with pointing and broken Mandarin, and shoes come off in homes and in some traditional restaurants. Recycling and rubbish sorting are taken seriously on the street.

What you can relax about

You will get things wrong. You will hand someone a business card with one hand, or forget to pour tea for the person beside you. It will almost never matter, because visitors get a generous allowance and because most people you meet are more interested in where you are from than in scoring your manners.

Learn two words, watch what your hosts do, and copy them. That is genuinely most of it.

Written by the team at 71Asia Tours, a China-based tour operator with licensed Spanish- and English-speaking guides. Browse all tours · About us · Our guides · Reviews · FAQ